This track is a story of transformation and the challenges that come with it. The song narrates the struggle of reconciling who one was with who they are becoming. It’s about the pain of growth, the regret of choices made, and the longing for something familiar, symbolized by the yearning to go home. McCollum weaves a tale of love lost, personal evolution, and the bittersweet nature of change.
This song isn’t just about a specific person or event; it’s a universal story of navigating life’s tumultuous seas and finding oneself in the process. Let’s explore it.
“Hell of a Year” Lyrics Meaning
The track begins with a reflective question, “How did you see who I was ain’t who I was gonna be?” This opening sets the stage for a narrative of personal transformation. The song captures the essence of a person looking back at a year filled with change, both in themselves and their life circumstances. It’s a poignant acknowledgment of the disparity between past expectations and present realities.
The lines “I could’ve been right, was probably wrong” and “So many nights wishin’ I could go home” speak to the universal feelings of regret and longing for simpler times. McCollum expresses a yearning for the comfort and security of ‘home,’ which represents familiarity and a past self. This nostalgia is tinged with the recognition that one cannot return to the past, only learn from it.
As the song progresses, the artist delves into themes of lost love and the pursuit of something elusive. “Now my heart’s out of love, I fell out of line” suggests a departure from a once-cherished path, likely a relationship. The line “I swore that I’d never leave again and I lied” reveals the conflict between intentions and actions, highlighting the complexity of human emotions and relationships.
The verse “It was the weight of the world, you settin’ me free” implies a liberation from burdens, yet this freedom comes with its own challenges. The juxtaposition of wanting someone but not being able to be with them is powerfully conveyed in “You can’t sleep alone and you ain’t sleepin’ with me.”
The recurring phrase “It’s been a hell of a year” is a powerful refrain that encapsulates the tumultuous journey of the song’s subject. It underscores the intensity of the experiences faced and the transformative impact they have had.
In “Now you hate how I live, go up to come down,” McCollum touches on the cyclical nature of coping mechanisms, like substance use, indicating a struggle with inner demons and external perceptions. The raw honesty in “I loved this home but now I hate this house” captures the painful transition from attachment to detachment, symbolizing how places and relationships can change in meaning over time.
The Story Behind “Hell of a Year”
The song reflects a period when the artist navigated the choppy waters of personal growth and change. The lyrics suggest that McCollum was possibly grappling with the aftermath of a significant life event or relationship.
The essence lies in its raw and vulnerable portrayal of a young man’s journey through a critical phase in his life. It’s about confronting the realities of one’s choices, the impermanence of relationships, and the relentless march of time. The song likely emerged from a period of profound soul-searching for McCollum, where he was forced to reckon with his actions, decisions, and their consequences.
This state of mind is evident in the lyrical content, which oscillates between regret, longing, and a hard-earned acceptance of change. The song doesn’t just tell a story; it invites listeners into the intimate world of the songwriter, where they can see the scars, the hopes, and the quiet resolve that comes with surviving a particularly challenging period.
In “Hell of a Year,” McCollum doesn’t just share his story; he offers a mirror for others to reflect on their own journeys. The song serves as a testament to the fact that while the road may be rough, the lessons learned and the growth achieved are what ultimately define us. This perspective is likely a product of the artist’s own experiences, shaping his worldview and artistic expression at that time.